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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Five Ridiculous but Slightly Stressful Things to Smile About


With the recent turmoil, the earthquakes and politicos going off the deep end, my heart suggested I keep my thoughts quiet until things get better. Unfortunately, things aren’t lightening up too much—it’s as if Les Miz is playing out on the six o’clock news-- every day. Meanwhile, we have blogs, stories and books to write and someday publish. For some strange reason, the world won’t stop so I can get off and be emotional. Must be why so many have signed up for a one-way ticket to Mars and I keep finding humor in the painfully mundane. Examples:
1.       At the end of the day.—Almost every television personality, interviewer and interviewee uses this transitioning phrase in their dialogue. Last week we went to a real estate conference to learn about house flipping and yes, the speaker kept saying it was the end of the day and obviously, I began to yawn. (And no, we’re not interested in house flipping but I always like to learn things, such as quick ways to find my inner snore.) Meteorologists, Presidential candidates, comedians, talk show hosts, sports announcers—everyone says it! When my doctor said it, I almost flipped out. If you haven’t noticed this unusual trend, you will now. Sorry.

2.       What do you think about that auto commercial indicating in large type that those are real people, not actors? I’m sure they realize how silly that is but it’s starting to bug me, even though I’m aware some actors are aliens.


3.       We love listening to classical radio on the weekends and every Saturday morning the announcer comes on to interview some violin player--or he or she chats about some movie music for hours. Don’t they realize we’re listening to their station for music, not Talk radio? Blah, blah, blah, we switch it off and stream YouTube. Does anyone still listen to the radio?

4.       When we’re in the car and we’re listening to a rock station and a car ad comes on about leasing a car for $199 but right when you think it’s finished, the spokesman continues on a super fast tirade of all the stuff he has to disclose in ten seconds. Of course, he’s reading so fast there’s no way anyone in the world could understand any of it but the car dealer feels he’s covered all his bases. As someone who spent hours writing automotive ad copy for newspapers, I think this might not be honest. Is it just me?


5.       So you pull into the driveway, go inside and decide to pop a frozen pie in the oven. The box actually says, “Remove plastic before baking.” Your hands become fists before you preheat the oven. You control yourself for a few minutes, jump up and down and inhale deeply before your cells divide and you know you’re about to blow a fuse.

At the end of the day, you’re tired of everyone treating you like you’re stupid and you scream at anyone who will listen about how insensitive that frozen food company must be if they have to tell other, senseless people not to cook the plastic wrap with the pie.

 But you aren’t senseless, are you? You pay taxes and count your blessings. You're not a victim! Why blame the pie? Breathe, turn on the radio. “You have nothing to fear, nothing to hide!”

(2 minute clip from Les Miserables)

16 comments:

  1. Sports people use that phrase a lot. In fact ESPN once made a clip of just people saying 'At the end of the day.'
    And who leases a car? Wow, so much money up front and you can only drive it so far. We saw a house for lease the other day and wondered how many miles you were allowed to drive it...

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    1. HI Alex, Yup I think I've seen that ESPN clip. Pretty funny. Everyone uses it. I guess even Victor Hugo used it? Although I'm not too sure about that one. LOL Be careful with leasing. :)

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  2. LOL, Love your rant and agree with it all!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Cloudia. Can't wait to visit your blog too.

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  3. There's a commercial out there for Chevy trucks... actors or not, I find myself wanting to strangle the guy who drawls, "Just reinforces my love for Chevys."

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    1. As if people speak like that. Ever. LOL Just reinforces my belief that ad agencies need human interaction. :)

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  4. Hi thanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog today. You've hit a tender spot with me and radio. I used to work in radio, both writing radio spots and being on the air. I totally agree with you that people listen to the radio for the Music...unless it is actually talk radio. Too many times the DJs would blah blah on and on. And those stupid disclaimers at the end of car spots. I used to protest and ask why? I was told it was mandated by the FCC. One time, when a dealership was having a contest, there was not much to say after the initial info, so I did all those ridiculous phrases slowly in a sexy voice. Listeners loved it and the dealership got lots of great comments. Great blog,by the way.

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    1. Thank you for visiting and I bet your sexy voiced disclaimers helped the car dealers sell cars! LOL

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  5. Those quick disclosures really tick me off. I don't listen to them anymore. When I need a new car, I'll go to a lot and see what I want, not what's "on sale" because they mark those things up in order to sell them at what they will accept anyway. Rip offs!

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  6. I always laugh at those ads that proclaim they use real people. Technically, they can get away with saying they're not actors, because they're such bad actors, you'll never see them in any movie or TV series.

    We have some really absurd local ads. One in particular: a company that does granite countertops. The couple who own the company are in every ad--she's the designer, a woman with big, overbleached hair and he's a good ol'boy who looks like he might be doing a really bad Kenny Rogers impersonation. I wouldn't hire anyone with such obvious bad taste to design my kitchen or bathroom (or garage or doghouse.

    And he calls himself "The Granite Daddy"--as in "Who's your daddy?" If they're trying to make granite countertops sexy, it's having the opposite effect!

    I've seen some instructions for products even more ridiculous than the one you mention--but remember, morons are the one species that will never become extinct. Morons need those directions!

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    1. Oh wow, Granite Daddy sounds like something to smile about for sure. During these tough times people probably want to tape him and his designer with the big hair just for laughs. I have to agree morons are quite an interesting sub-species that will outlast us all. :)

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  7. The part about taking the plastic off the pie before baking....
    I had a friend who worked for a law firm that took care of instructions. They have to write like that because stupid people will cook it and eat it then sue the company.
    She had one client who makes the little tubes that people like me need to breath in and out of to read lung power. There was a little plastic ball in it so you could try to push the ball up higher
    to work your lungs.
    Somehow one of the special little snowflakes visiting his family
    got the ball out and and stuck it up his precious nose. They sued the company and WON !

    cheers, parsnip

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  8. Hi Eve,

    At the end of the day, at the end of the day was being constantly used, to my irritation, way before that idiotic expression landed in North America. Yes, at the end of the day, it's midnight, as stated by me on "Farcebook"!

    Yep, those are real actors pretending to be people. Now to get rid of that awful phrase, "to be honest!", to be honest...

    I shall now go listen to a music station that sometimes actually plays music!

    Gary :)

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    1. Omg, 'to be honest' is horrible especially when said by someone selling appliances.

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    2. Omg, 'to be honest' is horrible especially when said by someone selling appliances.

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