Galatians 6:9 - And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we
shall reap, if we faint not.
Do you ever get some harebrained scheme into your head and
realize it’s a huge waste of time and money? Happens to me all the time. Except
that at this time, what at first appeared to be a harebrained scheme, has
proven to be a truly great idea that begs telling. Yes, ladies and gentlemen—today
I’m offering some free marital advice coupled with a concrete foundation of
personal experience, and though it does have a cost attached, well, kind of a
lot—we did buy the least expensive package—it’s still less than most of those
options you want on your automobile— and definitely cheaper than
counseling-- so grab a seat and listen to my story unfold.
I am so excited about this stellar suggestion—it will either
save your marriage or end it for good, in which case he probably had it coming
anyway--that I’m bubbling over with excitement. First, let me explain that we
recently moved [for family reasons] and my man had to quit his job, leaving him
moping around an empty garden looking for weeds and all kinds of trouble.
Downcast and missing his colleagues he turned to craft beer and, more on the
positive side, his wife of 22 years, for help. I looked out my lovely new
window with my imagination in full gear and decided what the garden really
needs. Little did I know that this might be what every wife might also need and
thus my PSA (public service announcement) about our decision to
order a gazebo from the Amish! Yes, that’s exactly what we did.
First, I
ordered the catalog and shopped online and after weeks of comparative research, we ordered
a gazebo kit. It came on a rail car from Pennsylvania. The truck stopped in
front of our home and the deliveryman pulled it off the truck with some
contraption you might use to haul a small country. This stuff was heavy. The
next day we hemmed and hawed about opening the bulky package and I dug in with
a knife that slipped and poked my finger. That’s when I decided this was a man’s
dream come true. Don’t guys love putting things together? Of course, I'd be there for
politically incorrect, wifely support but no hammering of nails for moi. Minutes
later, I was searching for bandages when he came to show me the directions and asked me to
come look at the amount of pieces this skillfully crafted
creation came with. The nebulous directions seem like they were written by
freelancing carpenter or lumberjack trolls, who used different symbols for
letters of the alphabet that were translated and then re-translated. Even Ikea
directions are easier to understand and those things come from Europe!
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| Love has no limitations. |
“Wait a minute--we
can do this,” I said,--sounding like the friendly soldier in the foxhole. First
of all, step one doesn't even apply to us. (Judging from the hazy black and
white photo, step one was about the foundation and we already had one.) There
are only 15 steps. How hard can this be? The sales video said some folks put it
together in four hours! Anyway, many times four hours later, we’re still on
step 12 and he honestly didn't mean to hit my finger with the mallet. Still, he
is enjoying this project and loves seeing it come together. Meanwhile, I’m
getting worried about step 15. What happens when we’re done?
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| Still several steps from completion.... |
