Sorry I haven’t posted for a while, but so far this year, I’m
trapped in a soap opera-style escape room and can’t get out. Every time I think
there’s a silver lining, or that fake sense of calm tickles me with my
forgotten sense of humor, some heart-wrenching drama unfolds like a plot twist in
a mystery novel.
Adding to the chaos are the mundane disappointments. A garage door that breaks while we’re at the doctor; the gardener who replaced our grass watering-system but didn’t know how to set it, giving us an astronomical billing statement. Then there are thieves who break into the mailbox creating lasting issues with lost checks. And, our gorgeous Mesquite tree that had to be executed. Chopped down like it didn’t share ten years giving us shade, and holding onto chirping little birds.
Fortunately, faith is carrying me through my trials and tribulations. When I’m overwhelmed, my prayers which used to be gentle mumblings, have become louder, more intense, and pleading. I feel like I’m shouting, screaming, and yelling at God. Even admitting this is embarrassing. I mean why would I want to be belligerent with the one who has answered all my prayers and protected me thus far? I must sound foolish, as well as desperate.
Many have been through worse, and my perspective on
everything could be wrong, because this pain comes from loving others. I am the
servant to those affected. The one trying to learn wound care, while my suffering
heart sobs for those I’ve cared for my entire life. Trauma bay aside,
infections, boils, scars, become visible, literal evils that plague us, and
yet, “we are not in the flesh; on the contrary, you are in the spirit…” -Romans
8:8-17
Job also cried out to God, but he was focused on his own darkness. I watch the news and cry. There’s a lot to cry about. Mostly for children who should never see bombs fall from the sky. Not in 2025, or ever. My quiet voice needs to muster up courage so I can pray even louder!
Finches and orioles loved watching the sunset from this tree.
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