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Sunday, April 8, 2018

30 Tongue in Cheek Phases of Writing a Book

 Phases of Writing a Book
Warning: Not every writer goes through all these stages. I’ve survived most of them, but I’m only at number 21. If I don't focus, it's easy to be derailed. 
Anyway, if you tend to have martyr tendencies, you can power through this list too! Good luck. Oh, and don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I'm in a jolly phase, because I see the light.

1.       Excitement( short-lived)
2.       Research--May result in  pain near frontal lobe
3.       Doubt—Sugar surges--donut cravings.
4.       Extraordinary dog walking. Fetch? Of course.
5.       Anger.Tissues and tears phase
6.       Depression/Overthinking
7.       Burning of sage
8.       Critique group jitters
9.       Bargaining/Negotiating with God
10.   The Shakes (Possibly from massive amounts of coffee)
11.   More research and napping
12.   Grammar check shock
13.   Mystic chanting and mumbling of prayers
14.   Worry. Nail biting-hair loss
15.   Editing/proofing

Small notes to remind me where I left off.

16.   Obsessive house cleaning or moving furniture around-Tub scrubbing
17.   Shopping for rope or shoes
18.   Gambling/Alcohol/Drugs
19.   Laundry/Compulsive vacuuming/ironing
20.   Gardening/Manic weed pulling
21.   Pin light at end of tunnel jollies
22.   Distribution concerns/Extra food intake
23.   Loves me—Loves me not—Beta readers
24.   Gaming, crocheting or redecorating as a distraction
25.   Marketing worries/ Fasting-diet-copious amounts of water
26.   More editing. Arguments with self, editor and characters
27.   Acceptance-Hope. Blog updating
28.   Final Draft/ Removing was and exclamation points!
29.   The query letter and Fifty shaded, mysterious steps to publishing
30.   The Cover reveal party. Hooray!

-Signed, your exhausted friend, Eve


  1. Replies
    1. I'm praying, but some people say OHM, over and over again. I think. Isn't that mystic chanting?

  2. If I went through all of that, I would never write a word. Editing and more editing is so true though!

  3. Can't say I've done more than a few of these or even knew anyone who did--but this is really an entertaining post, Eve!

    1. Sadly, most of it applies and thank you for saying I'm entertaining. So are you!

  4. Oh My Goodness... You missed pulling your hair out brushing it because you got it so tangled running your hands through it.

    cheers, parsnip

    1. All the hair came out but it grew back! Thank goodness!

  5. 22 and 25 used to bother me. Now, frankly Scarlet, I don't...